In early 2012, I participated in a team-building workshop with the executive team I was part of. At the time, I had been on the professional fast track for a few years, had just moved the family to Boston and the (mostly self-imposed) pressure was starting to have a toll on my mental health. During that session, two game-changing events happened for me. First, I opened up about my struggles to the rest of the team and discovered that being vulnerable is key in the process of building trust and support. Secondly, it is during that session that I met the person that would eventually become my coach and also a great friend.
To be honest, leading up to that point, I had never really thought about getting a coach. For some reason, the whole “coaching thing” seemed quite esoteric to me… From my perspective, I could figure things out on my own. It’s how I had done it up to that point anyway. But for some reason, after that session, I felt that having someone at my side to help think things through wouldn’t do any harm.
8 years later, I can confidently say that it turned out to be one of the best decisions I’ve ever taken. How did it help me you might ask? Well, here are 4 concrete ways coaching had an impact on my life (and how it can help pretty much anyone).
It helped clarify what’s important for me
It sounds so simple, yet it can be so complex. When you live life at 100 mph on all fronts, you tend to lose sight of the big picture and why you ultimately do what you do. And sometimes, you make decisions to look good in the eyes of others but end up not feeling good about your own self. Having someone question me about my life purpose, and inquire about what I really wanted for myself, was instrumental in crafting my own desired path.
It allowed me to see things from different perspectives
Often, when we are stuck, all we need is to look at the situation from another angle, through a different lens. When you do so, a whole new set of possibilities appear. Having a thought partner to help me look at my challenges with different perspectives was monumental in shifting my energy. In most cases, it turned roadblocks into opportunities.
It challenged my default settings
Like it or not, each of us has a default setting. With it, comes a set of strengths, but also some self-limiting beliefs and an internal voice that gets in our way when stress or change is in sight (also known as our saboteur). Like a good friend would do, my coach was remarkable at calling out my own BS and pulling me out of my own rabbit hole when things got messy. Over time, it also became easier for me to catch myself when that saboteur voice showed up, and ultimately act on it. And god knows it still shows up quite often…
It triggered actions and created accountability
Reflecting on life and our situation is one thing. Acting on it in a significant manner is another. Personally, that’s where I historically got stuck. Frozen by the potential judgment of others and the fear of failure, my great ideas usually stayed in the notebook or in the back of my cerebral vault. Being accountable to someone else for clarifying my actions, and following through on them, was ultimately what I needed. To get out of my head and onto the field of play.
Some people go into a coaching relationship feeling they are broken and need to be fixed. Personally, I don’t buy in that perspective. Yes, as humans we are imperfect, but we are not broken. I actually believe we all have the internal resources to propel ourselves forward and tap fully into our personal potential. And sometimes, all we need is someone to champion us through the transformation we crave.
A lot of things happened since that 2012 workshop. One of which is deciding to become a leadership coach myself. Because what really matters to me is helping others in their quest for positive transformation. And I’m glad someone helped me get there along the way…
Sending good vibes to everyone.
Y