Throughout most of my career, I often dealt with the impostor syndrome. This persistent feeling of inability to believe that my success, or good fortune, was deserved or legitimately achieved as a result of my efforts and skills. Looking back, this triggered important self-inflicted behaviors and beliefs that played a key part in my bout with depression a decade ago. I’ve learned from it and implemented some habits to silence this inside voice. It still creeps in regularly, but it’s not screaming in my ears anymore.
In working with emerging leaders, startup founders and experienced executives over the last year, it occurred to me that this pervasive sentiment affects more people than we think. It actually seems to be a very common struggle amongst people that we often see as “successful”, especially those who rose through the ranks or have been put in important leadership positions early in their career.
Without analyzing the type of behavior this can yield (from indecisiveness and inaction to micro-management and aggressiveness) I wanted to give you a few thoughts based on personal experience on what we should all keep in mind when the impostor syndrome makes an appearance.
Realize that almost everyone struggles somehow
Your situation is in no way unique to you. As mentioned, the impostor syndrome is quite prevalent amongst high performing people. So don’t feel like a victim and realize that this feeling seems to be a byproduct of success. It’s OK to try to understand what drives this feeling, but it’s as important to move beyond it to fully bring your superpowers to life.
Admit you are probably your own worst critic
Unless you are a con man or a con woman, I would bet you probably achieved a certain level of personal and professional success because of your strong moral compass, your above standard work ethic, and your resiliency. Therefore, you see everything, including yourself, through these high standard lenses. So don’t try to live up to what you believe to be someone else’s standards and continue to live up to yours. You’ll be fine.
Embrace what others see in you
As a follow-up to the previous point, we often look at what we are lacking vs what we bring to the table. If you have been put in a certain position of leadership and authority, it’s probably because others saw something special in you. So accept and embrace your superpowers, they are what makes you special. Continue to nurture it while developing new skills.
Open Up
I often say that one of today’s major hurdle to great leadership is a lack of vulnerability. The opposite, trying to demonstrate you’ve got it all figured out and under control, often leads to a lack of trust and engagement. For the record, no one has it all figured out. Talking openly about your feelings and blind spots is a demonstration of confidence, strength, and humility. By doing so with trusted friends and mentors, you will get constructive feedback and build relationships that will propel you forward.
Learn to live with it
Part of being ambitious and continuously growing also involves accepting that the impostor syndrome might always be present somehow. The reason is very simple; to grow you need to stretch yourself. And stretching yourself means living outside the comfort zone of what you know and master. So, to a certain extent, you might always feel out of place. But one thing is sure, you will always move forward no matter what.
Change your lens on other people’s opinions
I once struggled very much with other people’s opinions and criticisms. It amplified my sense of being a fraud, or not good enough, and was a major factor in what dragged me down the rabbit hole of anxiety (especially as I was quickly moving up the corporate ladder). I still struggle with it today but to a significantly lesser degree. The reason is simple, I now see criticism (good or bad) as an acknowledgement, an output, of actions on my part. As an indicator that I am putting forth my thoughts, vision, and beliefs and that I am stimulating reflection. The other option would be to try to avoid any criticism, which would mean not doing anything at all. The choice is simple.
Stay true to your DNA
The true impostors are ultimately the ones wo wear masks, who pretend to be something else than they really are. So, in my opinion, the best way to fight the impostor syndrome is to lean even more into who you are, what you believe in, and what truly motivates you. If you do so, you increase your chances to be fulfilled and happy and, most importantly, drive positive impact from a place of authenticity and purpose. This might ultimately lead you down a different road than you thought, but it will be the one meant for you. And you won’t wake up one day looking in the mirror at someone you don’t recognize.
We all doubt ourselves somehow, that’s human nature. Today’s society and performance culture only reinforces that feeling. But we all have something special to offer, all of us.
Ultimately, you have to believe that if you operate from a place of purpose, integrity, and common good, things will naturally fall into place and that what consequently happens to you is deserved and legitimate. At that point, the impostor syndrome will move from being a real roadblock to an old friend you know exactly how to deal with.
I truly think it’s that simple.
Sending good vibes to everyone.
Y